The Quest

As the end of another year is upon us, I’ve been reading through some of my old journals.  Not sure if that’s a good idea or not.  When I see that some of my prayers today echo the prayers of 25 years ago, it’s frustrating to think that I haven’t moved past some of those struggles.  Then I read where God has blessed and it reminds me that God has worked, is working, and will work to accomplish His purposes in my life.

My notes on Psalm 74 caused me to do some serious thinking.  I had to read it a couple of times to remind myself of the truth found in that Psalm of Asaph.  Here’s the entry from October 30, 1994:  The Psalmist asks God to remember His promises to His people – as if God could forget His Word.  Asaph asks God to destroy the enemies which oppress His people for the sake of His name – not because the people merit deliverance or because they earned it through their righteousness – but for the sake of the name of God.  Lord, I have nothing by which to claim your promises:  no righteousness; no great works; no character – nothing worthy of Your promises being fulfilled in my life.  BUT for the same of Your name, I ask, “Arise, O God, plead Your own cause.

17 years later, I still need reminding that life is not about me, but about Him.  What God does in and through me is not because I deserve it due to my righteousness or have done such great things for the Kingdom that I have earned it.  But for the sake of His name, the Almighty God acts and I am the beneficiary of that action.

In 2 Samuel 1, David wrote “The Song of the Bow” which spoke of his lament over the loss of his friend, Jonathan.  In that song, he asks that the death of Jonathan not be proclaimed in the regions of the enemy less they rejoice over the defeat of one of God’s leaders.  It is my prayer that as the new year approaches, that what God does in my life for the sake of His name can be proclaimed in the regions of the Enemy because it will speak of the victory of God, not the defeat of a leader.

May your new year reflect God at work in and through you for the sake of His name.

Just looked at the Facebook page for my high school and saw that one of my old friends had passed away.  Carroll Rainey was a great friend to me when I first moved to Orlando.  Being cool at Howard Jr. High is a lot easier when you have cool friends.  Carroll made the transition easy for me.  I was on crutches from hip surgery and how uncool is that in the 8th grade.  Then Carroll broke his arm and we were stuck in Mr. Joseph’s class during PE, where we played some epic games of trash can basketball.  One day when we did do some homework, I borrowed Carroll’s glasses and suddenly I could see the board.  I’m thankful that God placed a good friend in my life when I desperately needed one.

Death takes on a different perspective as we get older – especially the death of friends who played important roles in our journey through life.  The way our culture functions, we get spread all over the globe and lose contact with such friends – I hate that.  As I sat in my office and saw the notice on Facebook, my immediate response was a vocal, “No.”  I didn’t want to believe that guys I went to school with are dying.  It is the stark reminder of the frailty of life.  I pray for his wife, Janet – the girl he dated way back in junior high.  The gaping vacuum that the death of your soul mate leaves will require the healing touch of God.  May God grant Janet such grace.

As we get older, we regret decisions poorly made and things we left undone.  I’m am constantly being challenged in these days by aching joints and the pains of aging.  Recently, in my family’s traditional “Old guys vs. Young guys” football game, my son Justin told me to run faster.  I responded by telling him that what he saw was my “top speed.”  Losing friends at my age makes me evaluate what I’ve done right and what I’ve done wrong.  I owe so many apologies.  God grant me the grace to finish well.

Seems like I’m always trying to catch up.  Looked at my blog and saw that the last time I wrote was JULY!  Sorry about that.  Stuff happens so fast that you sometimes don’t have time to process it.  That’s what this year has been like for me.  Too much has gone on and it’s November and I’m still processing May.  Life can be overwhelming, sometimes.

Nolan had to pass a lifeguard test where he had to hold a cement block over his head and tread water for 1 minute.  Man, does that image contain so many analogies to life.  Sometimes I feel like the cement block weighs a ton and I’ve got to tread water for hours.  Sometimes I just get tired and other times I want to let go of my cement block.  All those emotions and thoughts whirl around in my head and heart and I just get frustrated.

Then, God times it for me to be somewhere or be in conversation with someone and God just drops in with truth that makes the block feel like a feather.  I’m grateful for a wise and loving God who allows me to call Him Father.  Psalm 61 instructs us to seek out God our Rock in times of being overwhelmed so that we can gain His perspective on the matter.  I like that the Scriptures say that God will lead me to the Rock that is higher than me.  God desires to take me to that place of greater perspective and insight so that I have His picture of my situation.

I remember backpacking in North Carolina at a place called Rocky Top – boy, that’s hard for a Gator fan to say.  You would enter the trailhead and end up at Russell Field.  Spend the night on the mountain top and then walk across the Appalachian Trail over to Spence Field.  Along the way, you passed Gregory’s Bald – a clear grassy meadow on the mountain ridge – gorgeous place!  Finally, after arriving at Spence Field, you stow your gear and walk up to Rocky Top.  From there, the view was incredible.  You can see Fontana Lake and the dam in one direction and then look over and get a mile-high view of Cade’s Cove.  The hiking is tough, especially with a heavy pack, but at that rocky mountain top – what a view.

That’s what I want from God – a view from the top.  I want His perspective on life.  What may feel like treading water with a cement block over my head may in fact be the journey up to see something glorious.  God grant me the glorious view from the top because right now, the block is really heavy.

We live in such a mobile society.  Next week, my family will be scattered across the Western Hemisphere:  I’ll be in Guatemala on a mission trip, Linda K. will be in Lynchburg, VA taking an intensive for her Master’s, Keilan will be in Richmond, and Nolan will be at Justin’s in Baltimore.  Keilan and Nolan have more air miles than I had land miles by their age.  While Nolan is with Justin, they have to travel 7 hours to pick up my grandson, Cayden.  We will be all over the place.  With that much travel, I ask you to pray for God’s protection over us.

It’s hard to believe how much my guys have traveled.  Nolan’s first flight was to Brazil and he was only 3.  Keilan was 8 and Justin, 12.  They’ve been on the move ever since.  Justin and Keilan flew from one corner of Brazil to another when they were 9 and 13.  Justin went to MK camp in Campinas and Keilan stayed with his friend, Joao (John) and his family who took Keilan to Minas Gerais – another state.  Justin flew to Brazil to visit us when he was 18 (had a 12 hour layover in Sao Paulo and 6 hours in Miami).  Nolan’s flown to VA to see Keilan and Keilan’s flown to Richmond and Pittsburgh lately.  Justin did boot camp in Texas, then went to California, then back to Texas and now he lives in Maryland.  I was 22 the first time I ever flew.  I went to Jamaica on a mission trip and when we landed in Montego Bay, the pilot bounced the airplane down the runway.  Everyone screamed and I’m thinking, “First flight and I’m going to die.”  My first flight was a big deal.  My guys think it’s nothing to fly here and there.  Linda K., on the other hand, was the first traveling summer missionary for the old Home Mission Board (now called NAMB).  They flew her from Lake Tahoe, CA to Lake Placid, NY and a ton of places in between – every week a new place.  Flying is no big deal to her.

God sure has watched over our family through all these travels.  We’ve always arrived safe – not always on time – but safe.  We even flew 6 weeks after 9-11.  What a wild experience to land in Miami from Brazil and be greeted by soldiers with M-16s.  Still we’ve arrived safe.

One day, we’ll arrive safely home in Heaven.  God will get us there, too.

My middle son, Keilan has been home for a year.  He had left after high school to work as a member of a church planting team in Virginia and after 3 years, he came home to work on his degree.  What has been truly awesome is having 2 of my boys together in the house.  Since 2007, it’s just been Linda K. and me with Nolan.  In some ways that was fun – we went to Brazil, North Carolina, and South Dakota on mission trips together.  Also only having one son play sports meant not having to miss any event.

Sad part was missing the interaction of brothers – the good kind.  Brothers always have their “disagreements,” which can sometimes be very loud.  The other times, though, it’s just great.  Mostly great fun and sometimes just amazing.  What began as a crazy stunt – Keilan put a decoration that looked like a chicken in Nolan’s room culminated in the EPIC prank that Nolan pulled while Keilan was in Brazil for International World Changers.  After the chicken, Keilan put a coffee pot in Nolan’s room after which Nolan put something in Keilan’s room.  Keilan then put a chair in Nolan’s room.  Nolan put a small table in Keilan’s room.  Keilan put a bunch of stuff in Nolan’s room.  Finally, Nolan threatened to take Keilan’s car apart while he was in Brazil and put it back together in Keilan’s room.

While Keilan was in Brazil, Nolan sent him this note:  “You’ve been gone too long, Keilan.  I fear for your room.” To which Keilan responded, “If you’ve put my car in my room, I will not be mad, just amazed.” Well, Keilan returned home today and this is what his room looked like:  http://twitpic.com/554ej5.  Look in the middle of the bed and you’ll see a red mustang.  Nolan, it is the EPIC prank – a car in a “noteworthy” room.  You gotta love having kids that love each other.

Recently I wrote this about seeing affliction or difficult times as good:  “Affliction good?  I guess it is when the end result is that I’m learning the goodness of God and growing spiritually.  Maybe that’s what David meant when he talked about learning the statutes of God – that actually He was learning to know the God of the statutes.  That is good.” But yesterday was one of those days where everything goes wrong.  I sent my wife a text saying basically, “Could this day get any worse?“  Then within minutes, something else happened that made me text her again saying, “It just got worse.”

My wife sent back great wisdom:  “Remember God allowed the events of the day to happen.  If they would do irreparable damage to His Kingdom, He would not have allowed it.  Don’t look in, but look up to Him and ask what He wants to teach us from this.”

Again, God proved that affliction can be good because in the midst of a day that stunk extremely, I saw His goodness in the woman He gave me as my wife and in the wisdom He gave her.

I always knew I “married up.”  Thank you God for a Godly, loving wife.

Psalm 119:71 says exactly that:  “It is good for me that I have been afflicted that I may learn your statutes.” That’s hard to say.  There are days that I don’t feel good about being afflicted with a bum knee that ended up in two surgeries.  There are days that I just hurt and I don’t feel well.  I’m not sure I’m at the point where I can say what David said.  I’m still learning His statutes – His truths.

When I get my focus off my feelings and hurts and look at God, things take on a different perspective.  I’m not sure what all I’m learning but I do know that God has been good to me in all of this.  David knew this to be true, maybe that’s why he said to God, “You are good, and do good; teach me Your statutes.” in Psalm 119:68    I have learned this:  God is good.

I’m still recovering and doing rehab, so I guess as my outer man grows stronger, so does my inner man.  Affliction good?  I guess it is when the end result is that I’m learning the goodness of God and growing spiritually.  Maybe that’s what David meant when he talked about learning the statutes of God – that actually He was learning to know the God of the statutes.  That is good.

I remember the first time I heard the song, “Hosanna by Michael W. Smith“.  It‘s one of those that sticks in your head and heart for a long time.  This week as I was studying for Palm Sunday’s message, that song began to ring in my head again.  As Jesus prepared to enter Jerusalem, the crowd shouted, “Hosanna!  Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!” I always thought “Hosanna” was one of those Bible words like “Hallelujah” that we use as a word of praise.

In my studies this week, I discovered something unique.  “Hosanna” is not used that often in Scripture but is used in the Feast of Tabernacles and Passover.  What’s unique about the word is that it is sung by the priests as they march around the altar of burnt offering – the place where the sacrifice was laid and then slain for the sins of the one who brought the sacrifice.  So, here is Jesus coming into Jerusalem and what do the people do?  They shout “Hosanna” around Jesus.  Jesus comes as the sacrifice of the sin of humanity.  He enters Jerusalem in preparation for the giving of His life so that we might have life eternal.

“Hosanna” means “Oh save us, now!” I find it extremely unique that what the people are chanting speaks directly to the mission of Jesus Christ.  He comes as the Anointed One (Christ or Messiah) of God to take away the sin of humanity by offering himself as the perfect sacrifice.  I wonder if the people even knew the connection to what they were saying.  Did they realize as they shouted “Hosanna” that in order for Jesus to save them, he had to die – to be sacrificed?

“Hosanna! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!” Thank you, Jesus for coming in the name of God to be the sacrifice that takes away my sin.  Help me to avoid laying down the trivial – like palm branches – and instead lay down my life – as Jesus did – in service to you.

This is the response of a young man as he addresses one of the most known men in the Old Testament.  The young man, Elihu has just spoken of the greatness of God and the wonder of His works in his attempt to get Job to consider that he has forgotten the awesomeness of God.  Man, how many of us are like Job – we have forgotten how awesome God is.  We have turned God into something commonplace and mundane.  We have become BORED WITH GOD!  We’re not just bored with church, youth group, Sunday School, and all things religious – we have allowed ourselves to become bored with God – HOW DARE WE!

God is the Creator of all that we see and all that we don’t.  He orchestrates history, time, climate, events – whatever.  He is the Master of all, King of kings, Lord of lords, the Great Physician, Almighty God, the Beginning and the End, Savior, Redeemer, Lion of Judah, Lamb of God – I’m running out of space, but not out of names – Prince of Peace, Wonderful Counselor, the Great Comforter, Infinite Wisdom, Ancient of Days.  You get the idea.  And we have become bored?! How did that happen?

When was the last time that your heart trembled and leapt from its place?  Whose fault is that?  We allow ourselves to get so caught up in our “stuff,” all the things that we consider important and we forget the most important part of life – GOD, who gave us life.  I encourage you to do what Elihu did:  Focus on the greatness of God.  Take some time to consider all the wonders of God.  Recount where and when God has “shown up” in your life and blessed you.  Pause in the presence of God and consider His awesome character and deeds.  Take your focus off of “ME” and turn it on to “HIM” and begin to see if you are not awestruck.

Maybe the reason you’re bored with church is that you are really bored with God!  Consider how crazy that sounds – the finite bored with the Infinite.  We are missing that which stirs our heart.

There’s nothing like an unexpected turn of events to make me appreciate the Family of God with whom I worship and serve.  As the pastor, it is my calling to serve them as their spiritual leader and principal teacher.  With my recent stint of being homebound, I have had the awesome privilege of being served by them instead of me serving them.  Folks have brought food, sent cards, called, visited, taken care of things around my house, along with multiple other acts of kind service.

Isn’t that what family is supposed to be?  Rather, the better analogy would be the Body of Christ.  This part of the Body is hurting.  I’ve always considered myself physically adept, but just now, my leg slipped off the recliner pad and I was in agony because my knee was “tweaked” and I couldn’t lift my leg.  One of my boys had to lift my leg.  Truth be told, my wife and sons have waited on me literally “hand and foot” – more leg and foot than anything else.

Serving seems like it would be demeaning.  I mean, look at Jesus washing the feet of His disciples.  Such a menial task – the job of the lowest servant in the household.  Yet there is something noble in service.  As we serve, we follow that great example set by Jesus.  As we serve, we are being like Christ.  Is that not the calling of God on our lives – to be conformed to the image of His Son, Jesus?

I am thankful that I have been the recipient of Christ-like service during this time.  I commend the Family of God at Kathleen Baptist Church for being “the taste of Christ” to me.  I love you and count it a privilege to be your pastor.